New Meme: Unofficial Librarian Bios

During a friendfeed-slash-Twitter discussion started by Iris, I commented that we should start the Unofficial Librarian Bio meme - a brief bio of yourself that you sort of wish you could send out, but you know the official venues really prefer the stuffy, boring version of you - stripped of all personality, dressed up in your Sunday best, and trying very hard not to be caught picking your nose or smacking your little brother.

Bah to that, I say. Time to let our awesomeness shine. I dare you to write up your unofficial bio. I've actually done this before, in this post, where I said:

"Colleen is a chunky library sort who stays at home and writes with her bossy dog on her feet when she's not teaching ungrateful ghetto kids how not to plagiarize their shit or use Wikipedia & Google as scholarly sources. When in doubt of her prowess, she distracts onlookers with her fierce bosoms."

I feel like I should rewrite it a bit, since re-using is cheating, so, here goes with a new one:

"Colleen (widely known as WarMaiden on the intarwebs) is a heavily tattooed, mostly jovial librarian with a mean shushface. When not spilling her awesomesauce on the conference presentation circuit or writing poetry, she spends her time teaching people why they should pay-the-hell-attention, and spices up her instruction by using the G-spot as a research example. Her fanbase is large, but she welcomes new admirers, as long as they cite their sources properly."

Hm. not sure I like that as much as the first one, but it's just a first cut at it. I see revision in my future....

So, what's your unofficial bio? Make sure you link in the comments!


Infosciphi said…
The FB's and tats do it every time. Good show my dear. :-)
Kendra K. said…
Do you require APA for citations or does any standard format work?

Here's my un-bio. It's weak like me.
Colleen said…
Any standard format will do. And if you'd like to cite using something fancy, I'll accept that too, as long as its properly done :)

*sigh* Also, I have been properly chastised as to my use of the word "ghetto." While those of you who know me know where I come from and how I generally use this good-naturedly to talk of my woebegone neighborhood, those of you who don't may be offended. Please don't be - I am reconsidering my use of it, though as someone who grew up in a not-great area (and continues to live in a similar spot), I always figured I 'owned' the word and could use it however I want. The point has been made, and you're not likely to see it on the blog in the future. (No promises as to what happens in conversation, though.)
Kirsten said…
Mine's here.
Anonymous said…
I frequently pepper my conversations with the words "ghetto" and "getting ethnic" (to reflect my desire to whip off my earrings and do my best ghetto librarian immitation of a ninja, but I'm often met with blank stares. I say all of that to say "use it, own it..." We're all a bit ghetto at times. Anyway, here's my unofficial bio...
Gazer said…
Writing my unbio helped with writing my bio. Thanks.

Gazer is the Electronic Resources & Serials Services Librarian at a mediocre urban university in the south. It pays the bills – barely. Gazer and her unit spend the day dodging administrators, snacking, and shopping online for sensible shoes. One thing you will not catch us doing is checking books in or out, so stop asking how many we do each day. When Gazer is not busy with the librarian gig, she likes to do shots, go to dance-offs, and throw herself eagerly into the paths of unsuitable men.

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